“Breathe in…Breathe out…Calm down,” I repeated to myself again and again.
It was barely 7:00am, and thoughts about all the things I needed to do that day were swirling around in my mind. Soon, my anxiety over the busyness of the coming months turned that swirl into a Cat 5 hurricane.
A heavy weight began crushing my chest. Every minute I spent stressing, another pound was added. My heartbeat fluttered. Each breath was shallower than the last.
Have you ever felt like this? As someone who undoubtedly has had too much on your plate in the past (or maybe right now!), has stress flooded your heart before you have even finished your first cup of coffee in the morning? Have you ever been wide awake at night because you can’t stop the mutiny of anxiety overtaking your mind?
If so, I hope that the words of Jesus in Mark chapter 8 pierce through your anxiety and stress like they have mine. Oh, if only I had remembered this passage that morning I was being held captive by my thoughts! I could have instead been freed by the reminder of God’s faithfulness.
Up until this point in Mark, the disciples had witnessed Jesus do incredible miracles. Two of these miracles were the feeding of the 5,000 and the feeding of the 4,000.
Sometime after feeding the 4,000, the disciples climbed into a boat with Jesus and set sail across the sea.
Like all travelers, they needed some good snackage. Early on in their trip, though, the disciples realized they had forgotten to bring bread.
Cue: Panic.
Jesus, knowing that their anxiety was rising, reminded them how he had fed thousands (twice!) and still had basketfuls of bread leftover afterwards.
Jesus clearly had the bread thing under control!
The disciples didn’t just forget to bring bread, though. They forgot who Jesus is and all that he had done.
As I ponder this passage, I feel convicted for the ways that, like the disciples, I have not been remembering the goodness and faithfulness of God while drowning in my own sea of stress and anxiety.
The question that keeps rolling through my soul is one that Jesus asked his disciples, “And do you not remember?” (Mark 8:18b)
When I’m feeling stressed or anxious as a wife and mom, it’s easy for me to allow my concerns to drown out the reminders of how God has carried me up to this point.
He has seen me through infertility for 4 years. He has helped me through the loss of my first daughter. He has strengthened me when several foster children left our home. And he has healed my second daughter miraculously of bacterial meningitis when she was a newborn.
He has done all of those things and so.much.more.
Seriously, how could I forget that he is in control and sovereign over everything I face, no matter how big or small?
My friend, let me encourage you that if you feel stressed or anxious in this moment, remember who God is.
Remember how you have seen him work in your life.
Remember that while he broke bread for the thousands, he broke his body for you.
And remember that he has you now, helping you navigate every tide and billow.
I’m praying for you to remember the beautiful truth that God has got you in the palm of his hand, whether you’re facing calm seas today or a horrible hurricane. He’s got you, and he will never leave your side.
Pressing on in faith, Jennifer