The Steadfast Love of God

A few days ago I rushed around my house trying to knock some things off my to-do list. I can’t remember what I was doing, but what I do remember is that I was irritable and flat-out impatient with my kiddos.

I told my kids multiple times how “mommy really needs to get this stuff done” which was absolutely true. But as is usually my issue, it wasn’t what I said, it was how I said it. As I rushed around frantically I didn’t speak to them with gentleness and grace.

Once I finished doing all of my “really important” tasks, the Lord convicted me of how impatient I had been with my kids. I felt terrible.

I first apologized to my son for my behavior, and as always, he was more than understanding. He went back to what he was doing, happy as can be.

I then paused and thought, “Hmmm, should I go apologize to Haven? She probably won’t understand what I’m talking about so does it really matter anyway?” (She’s 21 months old.) I quickly decided that it really did matter. Even now at her young age while she may not fully understand, I want to be intentional about modeling apologizing and asking for forgiveness. It was well worth taking a minute to do that, even if she didn’t really comprehend it all.

I could hear my daughter playing in the living room so I walked in, unsure of what I was going to say. I scooped her up, placed her on the couch, and sat down beside her. I looked into her eyes and said, “Haven, Momma needs to tell you something.”

She immediately looked at me with the most sincere eyes, ready to hear whatever I was about to share. I almost teared up right then at such a tender moment-and I hadn’t even gotten to the apology yet!

“I want to apologize for being impatient earlier. I’m sorry I wasn’t as gentle as I should have been toward you and Bubba. Will you forgive me?”

Her brown eyes gazed at me, and I could tell that she was processing what I had just said.

Then, to my surprise, she opened up her arms and wrapped them around me as she said, “Huhh (hug).” My heart swelled with love for my girl, and I gave her the biggest hug back. While she couldn’t say it, her sweet hug told me she had forgiven me and that she still loved me, just as much as ever. My attitude earlier hadn’t changed that. She loved me then as much as she always had.

After she gave me a gentle squeeze she sat back a little, and said “Momma huhh.” I realized that she now wanted me to give her a hug. I embraced her as my eyes filled with tears. I had not expected such a beautiful, compassionate response to my apology.

In that moment, as I hugged my girl, I felt the Lord whisper to me that this is how he forgives me when I mess up. He welcomes me with open arms, full of love.

Gosh.

A simple apology had turned into a powerful portrayal of the gospel.

I was reminded of Psalm 103 as I reflected on this sweet moment with my daughter. It’s SO rich so you may want to read it a few times:

The Lord is merciful and gracious,

    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

He will not always chide,

    nor will he keep his anger forever.

He does not deal with us according to our sins,

    nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children,

    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” 

Psalm 103:8-13, ESV

God is…Merciful. Gracious. Slow to anger. Abounding in steadfast love.

He will not chide (rebuke) us or be angry at us forever.

When he deals with our sin, he looks at his Son and his death on the cross. He sees the blood of Jesus covering our sin.

He removes our transgressions as far as the east is from the west.

As a father shows compassion to his children (or in my case, as a child shows compassion to her Momma), so the Lord shows compassion to us.

Let the depth of his love and forgiveness sink in, friend. Later today when you mess up, take your sin to God. Confess it all. And then, like a warm hug from our loving Father, experience his grace as he shows loving kindness and compassion toward you.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Pressing on in faith, Jennifer